Friday, September 28, 2012

Mark McPeak at D6 2012

Mark McPeak 
Mark is Vice President of Brentwood Communications near Nashville, Tennessee. His career has been providential blend of ministry and the marketplace. He has more than 15 years of marketplace experience, many of those as a senior leader. Mark’s expertise is marketing, market research, and business strategy consulting. Mark spent nearly 7 years with Michigan-based RDA Group, a top market research and consulting firm where he worked with Fortune 50 clients. He worked for Thomas Nelson Publishers and has served as an independent consultant and strategist to many major firms.
Grace in the Empty Spaces grew out of Mark’s passion for the church. Believing the gospel is meant to transform individuals so they genuinely reflect Christ and draw others to Him – Mark first wrote a simple one-another study for his church more than 15 years ago.
Mark now lives in Mt. Juliet, Tennessee with his wife of 29 years, Sandra, and their youngest son Matthew, a senior in high school. They have two other adult children, Amy and Andrew. Mark and Sandra lead a youth life group at the Donelson Fellowship where they have attended since 1982.
Below are notes from Mark's talk at D6 Conference 2012.
As people can change, it can create empty spaces in their marriage. Pain and bitterness (among other things) can get into the empty spaces. 

How about you?
If you think of a scale and one side is really good, and the other is not good. Where would you find your marriage? 
Keep in mind, the chldren's home, often resembles the parent's home.

Mark was asked, do you want to be happily married? Or do you want to be right? Which lead to a question that led to another question. "What do you want, what do you really want?"
  • Mark's conclusion. He wanted her to be crazy about him on her own.
  • One hour of someone giving you what they wan to give you is worth more than months of getting it through manipulation. 

When you are angry you may be
  • The dramatic one
  • the one who detaches
  • the one who blows up verbally
  • the emotional one
  • the arguer 
  • the manipulator
Knowing how you resound to anger, and dealing with it in a Godly way is important.  The old statement of "that's just how I am is not relevant".  Hardwiring is no excuse for not being transformed by the grace of God.  

Ephesians 5 
Our marriages should be a picture of the unconditional love that Christ has for His church

2 Corinthians 11:2-3
We have an enemy who's desire it is to destroy us starting with our relationships. 

1 Colossians 3:1-3 God cares a lot about what we want. God desires to change us from the inside out, which changes the desires of our heart. 

What Mark learned:
  • Sometimes it is possible not to know what we really want
  • When we don't know want, all our efforts may be for nothing. 
  • Some things are worth wanting - worth humbling yourself to be in a position to receive them
  • If you want your wife to be crazy about you, you have to be willing to be the man she is crazy about. 

When we fill the empty spaces of our marriages with the things that come from God's grace, we will be able to build a marriage as described by God's word.